Oct. 19th, 2011

youngraven: A shamrock in flames with an instructional message (annoyed)
To better illustrate why the 99% aren't merely laying about doing effall when they should be out working as decent folk do...here are a few of the responses I've got from applications I've submitted in the past few days:

13 October 2011
Dear Leah,

Thank you for your interest in the position of Graphics Assistant - Requisition 998603 for RadioShack location Corporate Office and for the time you spent completing our online candidate process.

Unfortunately, we have decided not to move forward with you for this position. We will keep your information on file and contact you should our needs change in the future.

We wish you the best of luck in your career search.



So, did I have have too much experience? Did I bollox the ethics test? Did I bollox the intelligence test?

Or was I merely one too many out of thousands:

14 October 2011
Greetings! Thank you for expressing interest in our position(s).

Due to the volume of resumes we receive, we can only contact those candidates whose qualifications match our needs for current openings. We cannot provide updates on where resumes are in the hiring process. If you are a match we will be in touch shortly to discuss your candidacy.

We pay particular attention to matching the right people with the right positions and will review your resume for any available opportunities we may have. We will also keep your resume on file for future consideration. Again, thank you for your interest.

19 October 2011
Your resume has been received, thank you!

Due to an overwhelming number of submissions, we may not be able to contact you in person, but your resume will be reviewed.

Thanks again, and best of luck to you!

Wait - what was that you said? 'Overwhelming number of submissions'? What does that mean in common speak, please? Am I one of hundreds? Thousands? Millions? Are there so many responses to each and every posting that there's no time in the day to give even one of them more than a cursory glance? Thus it's only the very first ones that ever go anywhere? This brings to my mind images of blackened-eyed human resources underlings howling 'uncle' from beneath literal rooms full of applications - as in if every received CV and covering letter were printed out the resulting run on paper would put Staples out of business. If there are that many people clamouring for work, then clearly Houston, we have a problem.

So, Monday, after admitting to myself that perhaps it is too much to ask that I find work in my field of experience (see how well I've been trained not to say 'expertise'), I registered with every staffing agency I could think of and/or find in a Google search. That summed to about six - and this isn't counting the creative ones (Creative Circle, the BOSS Group, The Creative Group) with which I'm already registered. One of them sent back this:

18 October 2011
We appreciate your recent inquiry regarding employment with Express Employment Professionals and your interest in becoming a part of our team.

We are in the process of reviewing your qualifications and comparing them with our current staffing requirements. If we determine that your qualifications match our present needs, we will contact you within the next 45 days, to discuss available opportunities.

Again, we would like to thank you for the interest you have expressed in Express Employment Professionals.

We also invite you to visit http://jobs.expresspros.com/us/search/ regularly and apply to openings that are suited to your qualifications and of interest to you along with calling our office to inform us of your online application and to learn of any other job opportunities that are available.

We appreciate your interest in Express Employment Professionals and wish you success in your job search.

Warm regards,
Express Employment Professionals

Forty-five days, is it? As in a month and a half it may take you to respond back to me? Janey mac, it's a good thing I'm not starving. Alright - fine, sure: the counter argument to that is you should never have let it go that long, right? But for people in hand-to-mouth situations, waiting as little as one day is letting it go that long. Really? Let's crucify them for one day spent slumped in the daze that comes from suddenly finding themselves in hard situations? Wow. And when you get to those famed Pearly Gates, have your explanation for that line of thinking ready for St Peter. He's put the kettle on and lit up a fat cigar; he's got the time to hear you out.

So, in forty-five days, I can expect to find out whether I've a future as a file clerk. Only maybe I haven't got to wait that long:

18 October 2011
Thank you for taking the time to complete the application for Express Employment Professionals. Unfortunately, after closely reviewing your application we do not have a position at this time that meets your qualifications.

We wish you success in your search for employment. Please feel free to view our web page and apply for any positions you would like for us to consider you for in the future.

Thanks Again!

The Express Team Dallas (West)

In short, I've been rejected by frigging Kelly Girls. 'Cos that's a fine ego booster. Indeed.

I'll share one last message, conclude, and then hold my peace for a while.

18 October 2011
Thank you for registering with Elite Staffing.

Please take a moment to login and make sure that the information you have submitted for your profile is up to date.

And…don’t forget to visit our Facebook page and “like” us for more information and to stay current with our career opportunities!


Thank you,
Elite Staffing Inc

So...in short, you might chuck me in a bone if I'll advertise for you? Sigh. I know, I know - everybody's got to Do Business lest we all be sunk. It seems a bit questionable is all. I suppose by signing up with the agency and, in effect, saying to them 'I'm offering to make money for you', I do give them leave to say back 'Oh? Prove that by making some money for me in advance'. 

It's times like these that make me want to go back up into the trees and eat a banana. 

Now then, let me head any who might accuse me of sloth for the time I've spent writing this entry. I've tapped Monster.com out for the day (I've even re-applied to positions posted last month - who knows, perhaps if I apply six or seven times, I'll get noticed). I've written to Freeman Leonard (another creative staffing agency) four times over the course of a few months, and I have got no responses. Not a form letter, not an acknowledgement, nothing but frigging crickets. I've addressed everything at CyberCoders that I could possibly do. Everything posted to CareerBuilder, I submitted applications to last week. Half of those are at Monster.com as well. It's very simple for me to shoot the bloody lot in an hour of a Monday morning. There's one position at craigslist to which I plan to apply. After that, the well done run dry, and that's the reality of it (incidentally, I've been turned down for retail as well). 

So, it's not that I'm some great lazy shirking thing. With great teeming hoards of workers from which to choose, employers not only have a tyranny of riches ('arrrgh...too many people...meltdown imminent...'), they've got all of the power as well ('but what I really want is a person who's versed in this One Thing That 98 Per Cent of All People Do Not Know, and I want it painted pink'). It's rather a task to stand out amidst the crowd when by 'review' what is meant is 'click-delete, click-delete, click-delete, click-pause for two seconds-delete'. I'm related by marriage to a human resources director: this isn't exactly hyperbole. 

It comes back to 'You are not owed a living'. I responded to somebody at Facebook (who'd espoused a similar statement) with: Alright then, what's to be done with these people? I wanted an honest answer, since I got silence (which could as easily be 'cos the original poster doesn't check Facebook often; I'm reading nothing at all into it), I've been pondering it on my own. This morning, I read an op-ed piece, which stated that the OWS bit first assembled at the Famine Memorial. I thought about my forebearers - people whose names have been lost to me by time (I know they came from Ballykrissane, but little else). I remembered being driven past countless famine graves disguised as empty pitches with grass and sheep on them. And I knew exactly what's to be done with these people. 

Fair play to you, society. 


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